Thursday, October 30, 2008

Er, Hi again

*cough, cough* Man, this place is dusty.

Yes, I know I said I would start writing again after the summer was over, but...well, something happened this summer and it looks like I'm going to be redshirting this season.

Truth is, I am going to have a baby, so no fencing for me this year. I kept up with practice through August and part of September, but I'm out of it for now. In some ways, this forced break was welcome; I had been having a lot of mental hang ups and frustrations and didn't always look forward to practice. That's never a good feeling and not a good way to get better. So I hope that when I return sometime next summer it will be with a clear mind and a positive outlook.

But of course I miss it too. Practice has always been more fun than competition and I miss hanging out with my friends at the club. I miss bouting with people who I'm pretty sure can read my mind at this point and still managing to surprise them every now and then. I had been excited that there was another NAC I could attend in Atlanta but given that it's only a couple weeks before my due date, I'm going to go ahead ad say that's a no-go.

And I worry - I worry that getting back into shape and rebuilding muscle memory will be a daunting and discouraging experience. I worry that I'll fall behind and never be able to "catch up" to the people that pass me in the meantime. But I try and remind myself that I've got a darn good excuse for any and all slippage.

I'm not totally inactive. I've been swimming at the Y and walking a lot. I haven't actually gained any weight yet and I still feel capable of almost everything; I just get tired a little faster. Plenty of women bounce back quickly from pregnancy. I'd like to say that I'll be one of those without sounding foolishly optimistic.

So, that's about it for now. I don't imagine I'll be posting here too often for the near future, but fencing is still on my mind so who knows.

Good luck to all this season.