Sword in the Stone in the Rearview

Try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways.
- Samuel McChord Crothers

After weeks of building myself up for this event which I perceived to be both huge and terrifying, I arrived Saturday morning to find it neither. Epee was just over fifty people, but the strips were spread out over two gyms so I never really felt the press of a large tournament. I did my warm up and got in a decent practice session with one of my teammates and was raring to go right on time. Of course, this feeling had ebbed slightly when fencing did actually begin almost an hour later. As a general impression, I was not impressed with the running of the tournament. Little things were skipped over: no one ever checked to see if I was wearing a plastron or asked to see the armorer's mark on my mask. Our pool was half-reffed by a "trainee" who very obviously had never picked up a rulebook. Turned backs went unnoticed and the clock alternately overran - or didn't run at all. When the refs starting calling fencers for DE bouts (remember we're spread over two gyms) it took everyone by surprise and it was mostly by accident that I stumbled upon the posted brackets and was thus able to find my strip on time. But enough - that was my personal experience and I know others found it a well-run tournament. At least it didn't drag on forever like some others - we were out of there at 1:30.

Perhaps if my own performance had been up to par, I would be more forgiving to the tournament organizers. But, as my sage blog advised me Friday, I make no excuses for my poor showing; I was just fencing poorly. I went 2-3 in a pool where I should have been 4-1 or, at worst, 3-2. This seeded me 30th going into DEs and while I made it easily out of the round of 64, I came up against the third seed, an A, in the round of 32. And that was it for yours truly.

So about that poor pool showing? I continue to have trouble dealing with styles that I have not seen before. I have always struggled with tactics and, especially under the stress of a tournament, my mind grinds to a halt and I am left rather dumb except to fall back on my old habits of pure reactionary fencing. Old habits produce old results. A 2-3 pool is like going back in time two years.

What to do? It's a hard thing to practice, but I resolve to be a more mindful fencer, to exercise my tactical mind as much as my body. I think at the next tournament I'm also going to draw the tactical wheel on my hand so I'll have a crib sheet when my mind goes blank. And now...I'm done agonizing over Sword in the Stone (or SitS, to those in the know). Divisionals are in two weeks and I mean to redeem myself.

Greetings and Salutations: The Blog Talks Back

Dear C,
You really should be working instead of blogging. You know that right? Just checking. Anyway, how's it going? You look a little peaked today, is everything okay? You're not nervous are you... About that stupid tournament?

C, you know I think you're swell and all, but let's face it: you're a nutcase. What are you so worried about? Remember fencing is fun, that's why you do it. This is just another way to go and have fun with your pals. You must chill.

Alright, now that we've got that cleared out of the way, let's go through our tournament checklist. Uniform, shoes, snacks, blah, blah, blah. I mean the other checklist.

1) Warm up. You always stink up the first one or two pool bouts, so warm up as much as possible.
2) DON'T look at the ratings of the people in your pool. Don't look at the ratings of the people you will fence in the DEs. Don't try to guess how good they are by the state of their uniform, or their age, or religion, or anything else. Everyone is simply a fencer, just like you. And they want to win too.
3) Don't get mad at your husband if you have a bad bout. He loves you anyway and doesn't deserve your snarkiness.
4) One touch at a time. I can't stress that enough. One touch at a time, no matter how bad or good the previous touch was.
5) For the love of all that is good and holy, if you start to feel bad about yourself, stop immediately. Feeling bad is an endless downward spiral, so just don't. Whistle a happy tune. Splash some water on your face. Anything but letting that negative voice win.
6) No excuses. If you lose, it's just because that's how you did that day. It's not because you didn't eat the right breakfast. It's not because you were fighting a big dude and it's not because your shorts were riding up. It just was. Practice starts again on Monday.
7) HAVE FUN!

So, are we set? Good! Go get 'em tiger!

Love,
Your Blog

Resistance Training, Take 2

The idea of practicing with resistance is not unusual and is generally accepted as a way to build explosiveness and overall strength. When I ran track in high school, we used to do sprints while wearing a belt which had weights attached via rope. Recently, we've begun to incorporate some resistance training into epee practice. So far it's been accomplished as a partner drill. One person does lunges or advance-lunges while their partner keeps a death grip on their back arm, trying to give as much resistance as possible without pulling the front person's arm out of socket. I like the idea of this drill but it is necessarily awkward and also hard on your back arm.

Yesterday, I saw this device for swimmers. I would think something like this would be useful for footwork resistance training, though it may need to offer more resistance than is needed for swimming.

And if any of the Y14s get a little unruly: tether time.

Lady's Blade, Part 4: My E is better than your E

This past weekend another of my teammates earned his B (that's two B's in less than a month, and a third earned his C)! I am, of course, excited for him. But I'm also anxious as to what this means for me. I can't consistently beat these guys, but I feel competitive against them, and every now and then I'll pull off an upset. Our coach has told me that I'm definitely fighting at a C level and if I were to get into a high rated women's tournament I'd likely earn my B too. This makes me feel pretty good, but also makes me wonder.

If I were to earn a new rating in a women's event, is that worth more or less than earning it in an Open? I follow almost all the tournament results from my division and those of Virginia and South Carolina, paying particular attention to the final placing of the women. From my very unscientific observations, it appears that women placing in the top 25% of an Open is a rarity, but it's hard to draw any real conclusions from this. While the total number of women competing is statistically small compared to men, the number of them with a C or higher is even smaller, so its hard to gauge how the higher rated women do against men of similar ratings. And of course, beyond the local level, the competitions are going to be segregated.

I will admit to slightly more personal satisfaction upon beating a guy in a DE than a girl (what does that guy feel like? I'm sure I obsess about this way more than anyone else). I don't really have a good reason for this, but an interesting tidbit from last week's New York Times gives me at least a little justification. (Article: An Enduring Measure of Fitness) According to the article, and the video that accompanies it online, women have 20% less muscle than men and therefore 20% less strength. Now, we do push-ups as part of the conditioning portion of our practices and generally, I feel like I can keep up with the guys fairly well in this regard. I don't use my knees and I don't finish too far behind (20% behind?).

Unfortunately I have no real conclusion to all this incoherent babbling, but my ultimate question is: If I earn my C in an Open, does that make me a better fencer than earning it by strictly fencing other women? At this point, I feel equal to any man with an E, but can still become intimidated by a D of either gender. I guess the only way to find out for sure is to earn a new rating and then see who continues to kick my butt afterwards.

Fencing makes the NYT!

I haven't been following this story, but apparently it's big enough...

Division III Fencer Says N.C.A.A. Selection System Is Unfair

So I'm not just self-absorbed?

Apparently I'm also actually doing myself some scientifically-proven good when I'm bemoaning my outcast state. It's not fencing related, but it's an interesting article about how blogging is actually good for one's mental health here

Who knew.

"Love is full of anxious fears."

-Ovid

Warning: Woe-is-me-isms ahead...

Last weekend was a pretty awesome weekend for our little band of epeeists. Though I could not attend, the club hosted what turned out to be a big A2 tournament. Two of my teammates earned two new awesome ratings: a B and a C. Obviously, our new coach's methods are working out...and how!

But I will admit to you, forgiving audience that you are, that after last Monday's night practice I was a little pensive. Fencing, for me, has never been solely about competition or about getting the highest rating possible. I try to make competitions an objective measure of how I'm progressing my skills. Of course I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to get that next rating or place in the top X of any given tournament. But that's not necessarily what I'm thinking about at practice.

And it seems that now my mindset has fallen out of step with the overall tone of practice. I do really love pushing myself in the conditioning exercises and trying to perfect my form in blade and footwork drills but these, along with very focused and competitive bouting, leave little room for free, fun fencing. Feels like these days every time I step on the strip at practice I am accompanied by little anxious fears that my performance in that bout is critical to my viability as an epeeist. I also feel like I get frustrated more easily than I did a few months ago and that I take the losses harder.

And...that's all I really had to get off my chest. Please feel free to chalk this entire post up to female fickleness. What was I wishing for last year? I'm guessing it was a devoted coach and more direction for practices. Yeah.

NYT: Weight Training

Does Weight Lifting Make a Better Athlete

"There is no doubt that an appropriate weight-training program would improve efficiency in pretty much any athlete"

Now what did I do with that spare time? Had it around here somewhere...

Mid South Grand Open - A review in verse

With apologies in advance

O! sweet predictability!
Wherein nerves render me
Hopeless for no less than
bouts three.

O! A victorious score
Twice, with losses four
Seed me low down but my pals
Had many more.

DE! Round of thirty-two
A rematch is overdue
With Mr. H, he's got more youth
than you-know-who

Fight! Fight Fight!
Red light, green light
And another red means you've made
The sixteen by a mite.

Now! You're in the clutch
And you want to win so very much
15-14 is so #%@!* close. You missed your
D08 by a single touch.

Seriously though, I want to acknowledge the Mid South club for a very efficiently run tournament, even in close quarters. And I did get a medal and other prizes for being the top-finishing woman. That's really a nice touch in a mixed event; so often when I'm reviewing tournament results (whether I was in the event or not) I notice there are no women in the top 25% of the results, but that doesn't mean that the women in the tournament aren't awesome in their own right. I did feel sort of odd accepting the award though since I didn't even fight any of the other women that were present. Just a bunch of young bucks with lots of strength and "go". But how many of them went home that night and roasted a chicken? Hmm?


A poem by someone else:
Last night as I was sleeping,
I dreamt—marvelous error!—
that I had a beehive
here inside my heart.
And the golden bees
were making white combs
and sweet honey
from my old failures.
Antonio Machado

Turn the page

For the last couple months, I've kept a feed from BBC Sports in my RSS Reader just in case anything ever comes up about fencing. Nothing so far, but what I have found is that the British devote a disproportionate amount of reporting to the sport(?) of darts with almost daily articles covering competitions and athletes. I usually skim right past them but the title of one this week caught my attention.

Taylor reveals motivation issue

Basically it's a short little article about how the number two darter (dartist? d'artagnan?) in the world is beginning to look towards retirement as he gets older. This struck me because it's the exact opposite of how I see fencing going for me. I didn't start fencing until 2005; I turned 27 part way through my beginner class. For the math-averse in the audience I will make it easy on you: next week I turn 30.

I am certainly not looking to pare down my fencing or competition time. If anything, I fear events that will force me to do so (but that's another post). Fencers in my age group (25ish-35ish) seem to be in the minority; most of the women, and men for that matter, that I fence at tournaments are at least a decade older or younger than me. During last year's Div II at Summer Nationals, I was easily the oldest person in my pool. This can at times be unsettling, but it is also a motivator. I am focused on not being left behind by the younger guys at practice and intent upon keeping pace with the high school and college girls in tournaments.

And while I'm focused upon the present and bettering myself right now, I will share with you a secret thought I often have: I seriously want to pwn those Vet ladies at the 2018 Summer Nationals.

Junior Olympics Final Thoughts

Since there's not much more objective information I can give you about the JOs that you can't get more reliably somewhere else, I just wanted to record a few of my opinions about what went down at the Charlotte Convention Center over the weekend.

First is that fencing is a really exciting sport and I just love hanging out around it. I tried to impart this to every civilian who wandered too near. While I was blown off by some, others seemed to find humor in my earnestness - like the group of ladies who complained repeatedly that it didn't look anything like the movies and that the swords weren't being swung around near enough. I started to explain to them how that would open up far too much target, but decided instead to just say that sabre would be starting soon. Thankfully there were people who were genuinely interested and enthused by learning that fencing is actually a very popular sport. Most children, too, were pretty excited by the sight. So these few gems made my efforts worthwhile.

And speaking of children, at the Junior Olympics one is, of course, surrounded by them. Since every competitor is 20 or under, I cannot help but wonder at the level of single-mindedness of both the competitors and their parents. It would never even have occurred to me when I was under the age of 20 that I could take part in any kind of national sporting event. I was spread too thin, competing in a different sport every season until college. And even in college, when I went to the NCAA Cross Country Championships, it was only Division 3 of our conference, and not national. It seems that most of the kids recognized this event was a Big Deal™. Watching some Jr. Women's Epee, I felt awkward and out of place because the intensity level on the faces of these girls was startling. I love fencing and want to do well but the former always takes precedence over the latter. At a tournament you are likely to see me excited, giddy, sad, or frustrated, but it is much less likely I will be dispassionate and "in-the-zone". I wonder who these children will be later in life.

Lastly, the scene Monday night was so great. We had a huge group of Charlotte fencers and parents to help with tear down and I think we must have set some kind of record because we disassembled all 48 strips in less than three hours. What a cool bunch of people.

Junior Olympics Media Wrapup

For better or worse, here's a wrap up of the local media coverage on the event.

CBS features two Touché members: http://www.wbtv.com/news/topstories/15676547.html
("Oh! It's a girl!"...Oh brother...)

NBC: http://www.wcnc.com/news/topstories/stories/wcnc-021608-mk-fencing.ca07b910.html

ABC: No luck...anyone seen anything?

FOX: A special segment on the local "Fox Got Game" show. Currently on my DVR, trying to find an online copy.

The Charlotte Observer: http://videos.charlotte.com/vmix_hosted_apps/p/media?id=1717476
http://www.charlotte.com/other_sports/story/497199.html
There was also a small picture on the last page of the sports section on Saturday which I haven't found online.

Feel free to submit your own findings.

Lady's Blade, Part 3: The Scareder Sex

My life has been much defined by fear. Whether it's fear of not being accepted in a new group, the fear that dinner won't come out just right, or just plain old fear of fire, it seems as if the feeling is always hanging out in the back of my brain. My husband constantly chides me for this, telling me there's no reason to be so afraid of everything that comes along. But the truth is, this fear was largely trained into me. You see, all through Jr. High and High School, the girls were constantly being separated from the boys and taken to watch some video or hear some speaker telling us all about the dangers that we would face, as girls, in this world. And because you can never have too much fear mongering, my parents made me read every article in the local newspaper about abduction and rape "just so I'd know what could happen".

The message was always the same: Keep your keys between your knuckles, use your elbows and the heel of your palm when attacked. But the most important message was AVOID questionable situations and failing that, RUN. This is the message that I couldn't help but to carry with me.

Of course, I let go a little bit in college. I went for midnight runs and took chances on new friends and boyfriends. I had a few adventures, but fear is a sticky thing. And even though you think you may have scrubbed the last bit off your hands there's going to be a little bit stuck under your fingernails, just waiting. So it is that I find myself still tethered to it today. There are people that I would like to reach out to and become close to. There are new adventures I'd like to have.

Lest you think me totally paralyzed, I will get to the point of this post. If you guessed fencing, you guessed right. In the interest of honesty I will tell you that it took me a long time to work up the courage to begin fencing. I learned of my first club at least two years before I finally ventured to take a lesson. It was mostly a fear of failure, I think, that was responsible for my hesitancy. And of course I still encounter fear when I am fencing, but it is the only venue where facing my Fear head on is as easy as stepping on the strip. I find I am protected and armed against it on the strip. I am powerful, I have leverage, I am impenetrable. And I will only ever become stronger in facing my fear on the strip. And the seemingly simple realization that fear CAN be overcome has given me courage in other parts of my life; and that feeling too, can only become stronger.

Writing this now, I wonder if the reason I still fear the dark alley is because I've never had reason to face it.

....
Til every river runs dry
Until the sun, honey's, torn from the sky
'Til every fear you've felt burst free
And gone tumblin' down into the sea

JOs - Day Two

Your intrepid reporter spent about three hours at the JOs today. There wasn't much need for manual labor so, at the suggestion of a friend, I spent most of the time exercising my self-appointed title of Fencing Liaison. Because of the setup of the convention center, we got a lot of foot traffic from attendees of other events within the building. I waited for folks to come up to the big picture window looking down on the fencing floor and then invited them to go down and watch or I answered questions about what was going on. Anyone who knows me even a little bit will know how uncharacteristic it is for me to go up and talk to people I don't know really well. But there's something about talking about fencing that is easier for me. I had one gentleman tell me I was an excellent "Ambassador". Go me.

I won't be able to make it to the event tomorrow, but look for a final report on the event after Monday.

Parry4 News is on the Scene!

The Junior Olympics got started today at the Charlotte Convention Center. By this reporter's estimation: So far, so good. Having been there till the bitter end of the setup last night - hanging the last scoring boxes even as the convention center staff was shoving us out the doors - it's great to see everything in action. I was only there for about an hour today, on my lunch break, but the place was bursting at the seams.

Compared to Atlanta and Miami, the Hall that is hosting the JOs in Charlotte seems a bit cramped; many of the vendors are within advance-lunge distance of the strips. But I didn't hear any complaints as I walked around and I don't think it'll keep me from returning tomorrow to shop at said vendors.

As an aside: One thing I really got a kick out of was walking through "uptown" Charlotte and seeing people carrying fencing bags. I admit I get a little tired of the reactions of people when I tell them I am a fencer. It's akin to what I imagine would be their reaction if I told them I took part in competitive hedgehog herding. Now, with all these knicker-clad people walking around I can say, "Look, there are lots of us."

From a personal perspective, the other organizers and volunteers that were around last night were all so nice and it's really heartening to be acquainted with a community like this one. Everyone has been really excited and hardworking for this event and I am really glad, for everyone's sake, that it is going so well.

Keep tuned to Parry4 News for more breaking news on Winter-JO-Blast 08!

Resistance Training

There's always a lot of talk in the fencing.net forums about weight training, so I thought I would share part of my home training regimen. To add strength and quickness to my retreats, I often practice with resistance. With my right hand, I hold a rope to which I have attached a 72 pound weight as I retreat. See below for an illustrative picture of how I set this up:

Pop culture

A visual representation of my inner dialogue while fencing. Previously I had thought it rather Gollum-esque, but Madonna is prettier than Gollum, so I'm gonna go with this.

"Maybe we should fleche now."

"Now? No, I'm not ready yet."

"But we're close enough."

"But he's just going to counterattack."

"How will we know if we never try?"

"Well just let me do this other thing firs...." *HIT*

Further On Down the Road

A couple things today

1st This week marks three years of fencing for me. Three years since I took the 8 week Beginning Fencing class at Metro Tacoma FC/Blue Steel. I've since been a member of two other clubs in two other states. The clubs have been very different and important in their own ways but I think Tacoma was the best place I could've started. There were no elite athletes, but the people that taught me how to fence there were very in love with their sport and wanted only to make other people love it too. Time was not only spent on foot and bladework but also on the history of the sport, the importance of all the little formalities, writings by pioneers of the sport, and other things that coaches I've met since would think passé. But for me, this was of the greatest importance because these are the things that drew me to fencing in the first place. I think I would not have stayed in the sport this long (and - I think - for the rest of my able days) had it not been for this foundation. So, thanks.

2nd Building a little on what I wrote a couple weeks ago about teams, the New York Times this morning had an article this morning about working out in groups, and the positive and negative effects it can have. It just reinforces a lot of the things I was already thinking: that exercising with other people ignites our competitive spirit, makes the time go by faster and can lead to better results. One thing this article doesn't mention is the importance of the person leading the exercise, but I think this is at least important as the people around us. Our current coach, I think, has some background in psychology and he always seems to know exactly the right thing to say to me to make me give up every last ounce of oomph I have. So, again, thanks.

If you can't say something nice...

Last night at practice, I chose to (mostly) heed the advice of a wise sage:

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

After a long set of drills and conditioning exercises I just felt like I had no bouting in me at all. It was the walking lunges in particular that did me in. This is where we do lunges all the way down the piste, with alternating legs, and then back. A couple times. My right leg of course, is fine with this. I can lunge on my right leg all day long. But apparently my left leg is woefully out of shape. Once we got done with these drills it felt weak and jello-y. So it said to the rest of my body Y'all can go on 'bout yer business, but I'm done all for the night just as it was time to start bouting exercises.

I wanted to gnash my teeth and bemoan my outcast state, but instead, I tried not to say anything at all. I slipped a few times, but not in front of coach, thankfully. I did, however, get my butt handed to me all night, in every bout.

What this means is more lunges. Lots more lunges.

And then I'll start working on the other advice imparted by the aforementioned sage:

Eating greens is a special treat.
It grows long ears and great big feet!

...And that's when our beautiful young heroine's brain exploded

Think like a [wo]man of action, and act like a [wo]man of thought.
Henri L. Bergson

One of the things I constantly grapple with when trying to put together vocal instruction with actual action is that there are SO MANY things to 'keep in mind' while bouting. So many in fact that I feel some nights like if I have to keep anything else in mind, I may well reach critical capacity and burst my poor overworked melon at the seams.

So, as mentioned, I have changed my footwork and it has been good for me. But during a recent practice, I was working so hard on getting my footwork right that it was announced to me that I was now telegraphing my attacks rather plainly. So then I try to keep my footwork going, keep making attacks...but in a more nonchalant manner...and now I'm getting scored on by really simple attacks because where is there room for thinking about defense in all of this other thinking?

Of course this is not a new problem. I think I wrote about this same feeling in my first few months of blogging over two years ago. So that's reassuring because the things that I used to have trouble with are now second nature to me.

When I get really frustrated though, I try to remind myself of all the complicated things I do everyday that take a lot of coordination of different senses and movements but are now easy things. Driving is the best example I think: there is a lot of awareness, a lot of body parts moving at once, things to watch and listen to, bagels to eat, sticks to shift - all at one time. And now I do it everyday with very little risk to myself or others. I keep my fingers crossed, hoping that one day fencing will be equally second-nature - with perhaps a little more risk to others...

Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
Will Rogers